best part & hardest part

A little over a month ago, we began a family tradition at the dinner table.  We go around the table during dinner and each share our "hardest" part of the day and our "best" part of the day.  I have loved the window of conversation and understanding that this has opened up in our family dinners.

I must admit, I often find myself surprised at what was the hardest part of my kids day.  Sometimes I can guess, but other times, it is something that I had no idea was such a hard thing for them.  For instance, tonight Johnny had 2 hard things, he said folding laundry was really hard (which I knew he was having trouble focusing on and finishing the task, but I didn't realize that it would turn out to be what in his mind he thought was the hardest part of the day).  The second thing he said was hard was "playing basketball with dad", to which James was surprised (I think he was expecting that to be Johnny's best part of the day).  Johnny told us it was hard because Dad won him while playing "21" (I'm telling you, James doesn't go easy on the poor kids when a game of basketball is involved!).
 
My kids have really begun to enjoy this tradition and will remind us if we forget to do it.  In the past, I would ask my kids "how was your day", and have trouble getting much of a response other than "good".  I faintly remember my own parents sometimes telling us at the dinner table when asked this question that we couldn't just say "good" but we had to say it was "good because..." or "bad because...".  I now understand where they were coming from and how they just wanted us to share, they wanted us to talk and carry on a conversation and not just reply.  I am a big fan of implementing this "best part" and "hardest part"  as it really opens doors to further conversation and I love it that the whole ritual involves each of us sharing an exact instance that impacted us in either a negative or positive way that day.
 
I also really cherish hearing my kids share the good stuff and what was the best part of their day.  So often it is something simple like "when Daddy came home and wrestled with us", or "when I built my lego spaceship", or "when we went to the park", or "playing with Alice" or "when you made me that yummy snack", or "when we built that really cool fort".  I've noticed that their best part almost always is something that didn't require any money or strenuous effort, just a little time and attention.



I also really appreciate hearing James share his hardest and best part of the day.  He does a pretty good job of not bringing home any stress he may have experienced at work, and consequently, often I have been clueless as to when he has had a rough day at the office prior to this tradition.  I appreciate him opening up and sharing with me and the kids things that he may have experienced at work that were hard.  It helps me understand better the burden he may or may not have coming home from work.  I also love hearing his best part, which is usually "coming home to you guys", which always melts my heart, and makes me so thankful for him and his love for his family.
 
I got this idea (of sharing your hardest/best part of the day at the dinner table) from a dear friend, Rian who shared the idea on her blog a couple months ago, which I upon reading about thought it sounded like a wonderful idea to implement in our own dinners!

On a side note- Rian is an amazing person.  We both have had somewhat parallel lives- we both served missions to Taiwan, and then upon returning home, married men that spoke Chinese (also Taiwan RM's), who both like to ball (and have played on many a intramural and pick up teams together).   When we get our families together we love reminiscing and talking about anything that has to do with Taiwan/China.  We also both have 3 kiddos that are all around the same age.  Rian's youngest daughter, Maaike (all her kids have really cool names), was born last May with systic hygroma, and so she and Sid, her husband, have had somewhat of a curve ball thrown at them too with a special needs child joining their family and having to take a crash course on special parenting. I have been so touched this past year reading Rian's blog.  She is a strong woman and is one incredible mother.  You can read about her here.

If you know of anyone going through trach stuff, be sure to send them on over to her trach blog.  She is just full of wonderful ideas and touching thoughts.

 Rian also is an amazing seamstress and ever so creative.  She and her sister started this blog, the presser foot, which is such a quaint place to go and get ideas and style and DIY's.